Kim Hall Shows Us Our Blind Spot; Hugh McNally Offers an Antidote

When I checked facebook over the weekend, I found two posts side by side that epitomize the struggle we Christians are having with gender. The first included a link to an article by the Rev. Dr. Hugh McNally titled Tertullian's Ghost. In it this retired Canadian pastor and missionary graciously and articulately advocates for biblical gender equality. It’s perhaps a surprising stance for someone of his position and generation to take. I found it refreshing and encouraging.

image credit: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tertullian

Directly under this post was another linking to a piece by Kim Hall at her blog, Given Breath. In it Hall, also graciously and articulately, speaks to teen girls who post provocative pictures of themselves online. As the mother of three teen sons and a young daughter, she is understandably concerned. In her words:

That post doesn’t reflect who you are at all! We think you are lovely and interesting, and usually very smart. But, we had to cringe and wonder what you were trying to do? Who are you trying to reach? What are you trying to say?

And now – big bummer – we have to block your posts. Because, the reason we have these (sometimes awkward) family conversations around the table is that we care about our sons, just as we know your parents care about you.

Major points to Hall for addressing what is likely an epidemic of such gratuitous postings. And points for having those sometimes awkward family discussions!

But there’s a problem.

 image credit: wikimedia commons http://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:Sand_castle,_Cannon_Beach.jpg

This is version 2 of her post. In version 1, Hall included pictures of her sons at the beach in clothing (or lack of) and poses that more than a few readers found objectionable. They were not (imo) provocative, but the guys were bare-chested and posing to their strengths, shall we say. Hall was bothered enough by her readers' responses to remove the offending pictures. 

This is important. Hall is not alone in her valid concerns, nor in the blind spot that provoked her readers objections to the pictures she posted of her sons. What I'm concerned with are the strong messages that blind spot sends. This is what I heard:

• It's natural and harmless for boys to joke around and show off their prowess, but it's dangerous and even shameful for girls to. 
• The reason for this difference is that guys are "hardwired" for sex and girls somehow aren't. 
• Guys can pose and post pictures without a second thought, but girls are responsible for the way they represent themselves and also for what ever reactions these representations elicit.

“Did you know that once a male sees you in a state of undress,” Hall says, “he can’t quickly un-see it?  You don’t want our boys to only think of you only in this sexual way, do you?" (emphasis mine)

 image credit: cruiselawnews.com http://www.cruiselawnews.com/2009/11/articles/social-media-1/miami-herald-see-no-evil-hear-no-evil-speak-no-evil/

The way Hall’s sons, and anyone else for that matter, see these teens is the responsibility of the viewer. Period. Is “un-seeing” difficult? Yes. Are the girls responsible for initiating the difficulty? Yes. But what Hall’s sons, and any others, do with these images from the moment they view them is very much their own responsibility. Self control is a fruit of the spirit for good reason. Why we behave as if it doesn't exist or is somehow beyond reach when males become titillated is a huge blind spot. (See a related article at CBE's blog, the Scroll)

I love that Hall encourages the positive attributes of the girls she addresses.

               "We enjoy seeing things through your unique and colorful lens – you are funny,

               insightful, and often very, wise," she writes.

But do we provide a place for that insight and wisdom in our homes and churches?  I wonder what the ratio of the signals we send girls is. How many “We need your ideas;” “We value your initiative;” “We trust your judgment;” statements compare to how many “Remember the dress code;” “Cover up!" “Don’t make your brother stumble;” statements. 

If the only power we allow our girls is their sexual power, we shouldn't wonder when they choose to use it.

This brings me back to the post that appeared immediately before Halls on my facebook page. McNally explains why the church should be a place where people can exercise their many gifts regardless of gender. The reason is an eternal one:

          " If not for the ministry of a woman, I would not have surrendered my life to Christ sixty-five years                  ago. How many people could the church reach if it supported the full participation of women!"

Will teens struggle sexually? Sure. Is that difficult in our increasingly sexualized culture? Absolutely! But all this argues strongly for rather than against making a place in our churches for our girls to contribute, to lead, to find a place for their “funny, insightful and often very, wise” selves. Let's give them space and encouragement to do that. Maybe then they'll have less time and inclination to seek negative attention. 

image credit: R. W. Benwick http://blog.rwbenwick.com/2010/08/leadership-muscles-tone-up/